so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
