So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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