weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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