We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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