I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
