dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
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