She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
