it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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