So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Mom said you looked used
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize