New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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