I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Sober January is a disaster.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
