I just made out with a guy for $7.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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