Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
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Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
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No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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