You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
