The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
