More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
farters have to be the big spoon...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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