More tranny stories later!
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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