Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Barsexuality is the new black.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize