all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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