The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
