i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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