ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize