Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
