Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
