If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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