garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So vagazzling was a success
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
