Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
