What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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