I'm laying in your front yard are you home
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
