I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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