She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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