I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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