Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
