Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
