It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
