Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
