bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.