I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up