If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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