Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.