"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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