don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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