I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
