Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Randomize