I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
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