i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
