were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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