I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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