You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
