i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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