they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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