i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
