Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
