A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
