but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Randomize
