Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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