Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
