no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
